Majority of the women that I connected with over the years have had one common thing that we related on and that was not having a relationship with our father. I would always think like damn how could all of us have this same complex . Then the questions flow in and you start to wonder what would make a man think that their presence in their child's life isn't needed and if they ever wanted to be around from the start.
like for me as an example I've always been close to his parents and sister but I've never felt a connection with him. When I see my little cousins with their fathers there's a unspoken level of love and respect between them and its normal to them but to me the shit seems far fetch.
Over the years I avoided the question"who's your dad" because I felt like shit I don't have one. Or if they assumed my brothers father was mine I would just agree and keep it moving. Some people still don't know and I like it that way because people have tendencies to ask more questions like " so your the oldest?"," who's your mom?". Which you could imagine annoyed the hell out of me.
And if your thinking I'm one of those fatherless daughters who feels like the mistakes I've made over the years are because of his absence you're dead wrong!
If anything its made me the self efficient woman I am today.
I cant really reflect on the shit he hasn't done for me because that's not my burden to carry but what I can and will do is make sure that I never fall in the arms of a man that's like him. I'll never put who ever I'm with over my kids are ever make them feel like their invisible. I think as we get older we open our eyes more and see who people really are and then choose whether to deal with them or not.
As i'm typing this today I don't feel love or hate. I feel Liberated. Free from it all.
And thank God you didn't let that get in your way of achieving greatness. You're a beautiful queen. His lost! ����
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