I've never been the type to throw pitty parties and wallow in sorrow but recent events have made me so oblivious to the things that have gone right in my 23 years on this earth.
Even in my relationship I find myself over thinking everything. Over thinking every phone call, text messages, and I love you's. So obsessed with wondering about how we'll be in the next 4 years, that I'm not able to live in the now and appreciate the love genuinely.
It's as if I'm living my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Learning to live in the now is not easy at all but I have learned that when I throw out my expectations of myself and others I feel a sense of freedom and clarity.
Freedom of not knowing whats ahead of me but conscious enough to know that in this moment it doesn't have any power over me. Clarity of being able to call myself out when I'm being a coward.
All to often we forget about the authenticity of living in the moment. In school we are taught to "Look toward the future" and that "Today is a reflection of tomorrow". But no one ever said "Deal with one fucked up a day at a time" or "Sometimes today isn't a palm reading for tomorrow. "
I was skeptical of writing this post because black people deal with their shit in private "so they say". but writing has always been my therapy and I refuse to sit on someones couch.
This is just a friendly reminder that even if the sun Isn't out today that doesn't mean a plant won't continue to flourish days after!
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